I was reading this blog Working Moms Against Guilt and thinking about working for a paycheck and being a mother.
Honestly, for me the emotion is not guilt. Guilt implies that I think I am doing something wrong by working. Nothing could be further from the truth. Maybe if LM and FH had to go to daycare, I would feel that way, but since they are cared for in the home by my most wonderful and loving sister, guilt really doesn't enter the picture much. (This is not to say that I like it when LM calls me Megan instead of Mom.)
a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined
It is more sadness and quite frankly selfishness. For me, staying home is easier than going to work--especially since I am absolutely committed to breastfeeding.
I know, I know that I have done the SAHM thing for only a limited time while on maternity leave, and I know that for the most part I have had just the baby, as LM has been kept on his regular schedule with my sister watching him.
I just am way less stressed out, and the house is better run when I am at home fulltime. Yes, the kids can be demanding, but in a much different way than a boss and other colleagues. I have no performance anxiety about being a mother. There is no one judging me.
I love being able to set my own schedule for the most part. If we want to go to the zoo on Wednesday, we can--no leave requests, no permission needed. When I work, everything just gets jammed into the weekends--errands, grocery shopping, family time.
Without a doubt, the family eats better when I am at home. We eat out far less, and I have time to try different menu options. There is also more time for exercising.
So......since not working is truly not a realistic option at this point, I would like to make a few changes that will make working and home life more harmonious.
- Do more cooking ahead, so there is always a meal in the freezer that can be heated up. One of the things I hate the most about working is the "get home rush." As soon as I hit the door at 5:00, I start cooking dinner since everyone is "starving." Then there are the dishes, other household tasks (paying bills, etc.). Before I know it, it is bath and bedtime.
- Hire a housekeeper.I have resisted this option for some time. It seems like a waste of money to pay someone to do something that I am totally capable of doing. We are going to start with just once a month though to help with the things I cannot ever get to.
- Get a routine. Although routine can be mind-numbingly boring, I do think there is something said to having a routine around the household. I am talking about things like doing the laundry and cooking those freezer meals. on certain days of the week. In general, I do so much better when there is a schedule, so I am going work on setting one up.